“She put the lime in the coconut,
She drank ’em both up
Put the lime in the coconut,
She called the doctor, woke him up.”
— “Coconut,” Harry Nilsson
By Randall Grantham
Community Columnist
As your self-appointed legal correspondent, I consider it my duty to inform loyal readers of any cons or dangers involved with advertised products. I try to avoid repeating news that is widely available, instead looking for hidden or undisclosed misrepresentations.
For instance, we all know that for years manufacturers have reduced product, usually instead of but sometimes in addition to raising prices. Cereal producers have cut box sizes, evident by looking at ounces contained. Milk and juice manufacturers have reduced the sizes of their jugs and bottles. Again, it’s easy to see by simply comparing the container contents.
However, in a dazzling display of deceit, some toilet paper makers think that they can short-sheet us without us being the wiser. My secretary happened to notice this by chance when she was stocking one of the office bathrooms with fancy paper reserved for special clients and employees in the know. Although the packaging of the old and the new Northern toilet paper looks exactly the same, they are different.
The rolls are shorter width. If you stand one up on its side and compare it with the newer one, there is about three-fourths of an inch difference. The company Web site says they are narrowing rolls for the new 3-ply product to create “additional efficiencies” in that it “requires less packaging, creates a smaller case size, uses less core paper per roll, and can be transported more efficiently.”
In other words, it’s for our own good? Maybe so, but this is still the same old 2-ply product they narrowed without telling us that we were getting less of for the same old price. That just ain’t right. I would suggest a boycott, but I don’t think that’s feasible because this is the only brand we’ve found to avoid being a cottontail.
In other advertising news, how many of you have seen the Corona commercial with the guy and girl sitting on the beach when an attractive girl in a bikini walks by, catching the guy’s eye? The girl sitting next to him sprays him in the face with the lime on the beer bottle.
This is very dangerous. A chemical in the lime, when exposed to sunlight can cause phytophotodermatitis, also know as margarita dermatitis. The affected area usually looks like a sunburn, or a poison ivy rash, with redness and sometimes swelling and blistering, says Rajani Katta, a Baylor dermatology professor. “It can be itchy and painful, and leave behind skin discoloration.”
If the girl in the commercial really wants to teach her boyfriend a lesson, maybe she should aim a little lower. That’s it from me, doing my best to protect you readers from dingle berries and margarita dermatitis on the lips or anywhere else.
Randall C. Grantham is a lifelong resident of Lutz who practices law from his offices on Dale Mabry Highway. He can be reached at . Copyright 2009 RCG
