A gesture’s worth a thousand words

Just the way you walk into a room can speak volumes about you — at least in the eyes of the beholders.

And, if you make a bad first impression, it’s very hard to undo.

That was a key message delivered by Jackie Eden, of Pasco-Hernando State College, in a presentation she calls “The Secrets of Body Language.”

“Your first impression is the first five seconds of anytime you meet somebody. A lot of times, this is subconscious,” she said. “They’re going to make those split-second decisions about you. About your health, about your educational level, about your social status, about your intelligence, about your ambition — in just those first few seconds.”

While acknowledging she’s not an expert on body language, Eden noted she’s done a fair amount of research on the topic.

Being aware of your body language and knowing the signals you’re sending can help you become a more effective communicator — even when you’re not saying a word, she said.

She thinks the topic is so important that she gives talks about it to various groups. Recently, she shared her knowledge to a group in Dade City, meeting under the auspices of SMARTstart, a program supported by the Pasco Economic Development Council.

Body language includes gestures, body movements, facial expressions and tone of voice, she said. “Only 7 percent of communication is actually words.”

Research shows it can take 21 times of a repeated good experience to blank out a bad first impression, Eden said.

So, she asked: “What makes a good first impression?”

Then, she answered: How you enter a room is important.

Be sure to pay attention to your posture and about the image you’re projecting, she said. For instance, looking down at the floor can signal a lack of self-confidence, while looking ahead conveys confidence.

When meeting someone new, be sure to smile, make eye contact and offer your hand for a handshake.

Be sure your handshake is firm, but not too firm. In other words, avoid limp fish handshakes or bone-crushing grips.

Also, be sure to “really pay attention” during the introduction, she said.

Do your best to remember the person’s name and a detail or two, about him or her.

Whether you’re going into an interview, attending a business meeting or networking, think positive, Eden said.

“What’s going on in your head really does come out in your body language,” and can show up in your facial expressions or gestures, she said.

When your words and body language don’t match, people put more stock in your body language and question if you’re trustworthy, she said.

Be sure to respect personal space, she added.

“If you ever see somebody backing away, even a couple of inches, that’s your cue that you’re too close,” she said.

While body language can provide useful information, keep in mind that it’s not infallible.

Everyone has bad days.

“Give people that benefit of the doubt. You really don’t know what’s going on with them,” she said.

Things to remember when speaking:

• When meeting someone new, be sure to introduce yourself.
• Use a welcoming, warm tone (If you’re not sure how you sound, tape yourself and listen. If you don’t like the way you sound, work on it.)
• Try to remember the names of the people you meet and a detail or two about them.
• Learn to make conversation, avoiding topics that are likely to spark controversy.
• Let the speaker know you’re listening by leaning in and nodding periodically. Avoid nodding too much — it can be distracting.

Source: Jackie Eden

Making a good first impression

• Smile.
• Extend your hand for a handshake. (Avoid a limp fish handshake, or bone-crushing grip)
• Make good eye contact.
• Pay attention to your posture, what you’re wearing and your personal grooming.
• Lean in, to signal you’re listening.
• Respect the other person’s personal space. If the other person takes a step back, you’re too close.

Things to avoid:

• Pointing (it’s considered aggressive)
• Shrugging your shoulders
• Texting or answering your phone
• Twirling your hair
• Chewing gum
• Excessive fidgeting
• Clicking your pen

Source: Jackie Eden

Body language mistakes that ruin job interviews

• Failing to make eye contact: 65 percent
• Failing to smile: 36 percent
• Playing with something on the table: 33 percent
• Having bad posture: 30 percent
• Fidgeting too much in seat: 29 percent
• Crossing arms over chest: 26 percent
• Playing with hair or touching face: 25 percent
• Having a weak handshake: 22 percent
• Using too many hand gestures: 11 percent
• Having a handshake that’s too strong: 7 percent

Source: Jackie Eden

Published October 12, 2016