People facing a life-threatening disease have different ways of coping.
Some join prayer groups. Others keep journals. Some write blogs.
Land O’ Lakes resident Jan Tucker decided she wanted to keep a physical record of what her breasts looked like before she began cancer treatment.
(B.C. Manion/Staff Photo)
She knew that her brother, Paul Phillips — who does ceramics and other kinds of art — could make the ceramic bust because he’d done body castings for women who were pregnant.
She also knew that her brother might feel strange about applying the material to make the mold to her body, so she asked him to teach her husband Ben how to do the first layer, to avoid potential embarrassment.
Tucker initially just wanted a physical reminder of what she looked like before she was diagnosed with invasive ductile carcinoma — an aggressive, fast-growing cancer.
Being a private person, she didn’t expect others to see it. But those plans changed, and now three ceramic busts — chronicling her journey through cancer — will be on display at an art exhibit and sale to help raise money for the American Cancer Society and the H. Lee Moffitt Cancer Center & Research Institute.
One bust shows her upper torso before treatment began. The second records her at her lowest point in her cancer battle. The third shows her torso after reconstructive surgery.
The story of Tucker’s fight for her life began like many other stories about breast cancer: She found a lump in her right breast during a routine monthly self-exam.
Ironically, it appeared at a time in her life when she’d never felt healthier. She was 46, and she and Ben routinely worked out.
When she found the lump, Tucker made an appointment with her doctor to check it out as part of an annual exam. That exam, as well as a mammogram, showed it was a cyst, which didn’t surprise Tucker because she’d had cysts before.
So, Tucker went about her daily life, working as an online business professor and developing online courses.
As time went on, though, the lump grew. It was right at her bra line and was becoming uncomfortable. She also felt two smaller lumps.
Still, she had no plans to go back to the doctor before her annual check.
“My husband kept nagging me,” Tucker said. “‘You need to go get this checked.’”
But she didn’t until he hurt his foot, and now it was Tucker urging him to see a doctor. They made a deal: He would go for his foot, if she went for her breast.
On the return visit, the doctor said the lump was larger, but was still a cyst. But after Tucker told the doctor it was bothering her, the doctor referred her to a breast surgeon to get the lump drained.
The breast surgeon – Dr. Kimberly Apple – wanted an ultrasound. That led to additional diagnostics, a core biopsy, and a needle biopsy on six cancer tumors.
The doctor told Tucker she would call her with the results, either way. That call came on a Friday morning, April 26, 2013.
“When I picked up the phone, I hear her say, ‘I’m sorry.’ I hear her voice crack,” Tucker said. Then she starts with the doctor jargon.”
She heard the doctor talking, but couldn’t process what she was saying.
“Everything kind of stops in your world,” Tucker said. “It was so surreal.”
The doctor asked Tucker if she had any questions. Tucker had one: “Is it treatable?”
Yes, but it would require extensive treatment.
Tucker’s cancer was so advanced that she had to undergo chemotherapy before surgery. That’s when she decided to have her brother do the ceramic bust.
“I called him and I said, ‘I want to remember how I am today,’” she said.
A week later, she was undergoing chemotherapy.
“It’s awful. There’s no way to sugarcoat it,” Tucker said, noting she went through five rounds of chemo in six months.
Next, she had a nipple-sparing bilateral mastectomy.
She planned to do reconstruction, but lost so much blood she had to have a transfusion, which led to an infection.
“I was down to 95 pounds,” Tucker said. “I’m bald at this point. I have no eyebrows, no eyelashes. My skin is sagging, and I was extremely depressed. I was in a really, really dark place.
“I called Paul and said, ‘I want to do another casting.’
“He’s like, ‘Really?’”
She said she wanted to remember this stage of the battle, too. That casting was done on Feb. 26.
When she got over the infection, she pursued reconstruction again. After that was done, Tucker did another body casting to show her upper torso after reconstruction. That casting was done on Aug. 16.
“It just kind of brought the whole thing together,” Tucker said.
She still had no intention of making the ceramic busts public. But that changed after her brother, who had exhibited some of his art works at Alchemy Art Lounge in Tarpon Springs, told the owner about the castings he’d done for his sister.
“The owner got real quiet and said, ‘My mother has breast cancer,’” Tucker said.
Then the owner suggested having a Pink Party in October, and to donate the proceeds to the American Cancer Society and Moffitt. Tucker agreed to have her ceramic busts on display because they help convey the stages she has been through.
“There really is no better way to illustrate the story than that,” said Tucker, who is now 48.
She and her husband have two sons, Van — who just graduated from the University of South Florida with a degree in chemical engineering — and Adam, a sophomore at USF, who is pursuing the same degree.
Tucker said she never would have chosen to walk the path, yet she knows it has yielded new insights.
“I am a different person today because of this,” Tucker said. “I am much more focused on what’s important in life, and it’s not chasing a promotion.”
If you go …
WHAT: Alchemy Art Lounge and Hard Bodies Yo present a Pink Party, featuring an art show and sale, a silent auction and a chance drawing for prizes.
WHERE: 25 Dodecanese Blvd., Tarpon Springs
WHEN: Oct. 9, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.
DETAILS: Proceeds will benefit cancer charities
INFO: Paul Phillips at (386) 334-5943
Published September 24, 2014
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