By Diane Kortus
Publisher
This is an emotional week for me that many of you have already walked, or soon will. My youngest, Rachel, graduated Sunday from the International Baccalaureate program at CDS Prep in Carrollwood and my oldest, Andy, graduates Friday with an engineering degree from the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis.
I’m not sure who will be going through bigger rites of passage this summer — my kids or me. They are off to unknown adventures — Rachel to Stetson University in Deland and Andy to the Marine Corps Officer Candidates School at Quantico in Virginia.
Me? By day I’ll be here in Land O’ Lakes working with my staff to produce The Laker and Lutz News for you every week. By night I will go home to just dogs for the first time in 22 years. I will still be a mom, but suddenly a mom with no child living at home.
Much has been written about the coming of age. Much less has been said about the crossing between being with your kids every day to just once a week, then once a month and before long once every few months.
For 22 years my children have been my first thoughts as I wake and my last thoughts as I go to bed. Andy and Rachel have been that constant source of purpose, love and meaning that have held me together through life’s unexpected challenges. They have shown me beauty I never could have imagined if they had not graced my life.
When Rachel was born four years after Andy I never dreamed of such a week in the future when both kids would be graduating within five days of each other — one from high school and the other from college.
I imagine all parents of graduates have trouble finding the right words to describe how they feel. Proud is too obvious. Sad and torn too dramatic. Perhaps there is no better word than a simple one — happy. For myself, my children, their friends and their extended family who share my love and pride for all they have achieved in just 18 and 21 years.
I know I am in for one long summer as I begin the transition of living by myself. It will feel very odd to pass Rachel’s bedroom and not stop to hear her breathing as I have since her birth. It is unsettling to think of my son as a Marine, away from the safe enclave of Annapolis, as he learns how to lead men and woman into battle.
It’s not that I worry about being alone. I look forward to having time to focus on my own interests without compromising them for the demands of a child. I have been making lists for years of things I want to do when I finally have more time — join a book club, become a birder, read Anna Karenina, train my Airedale so that I walk him instead of him walking me.
And soon that time will be here. Not only to do new things, but also to reflect on how being a mother has been the most joyous experience of my life. The unconditional love a mother and child share is an incredible source of power. It is the engine that has guided me to always be true to my heart and to make decisions that were best for Andy, Rachel and ultimately myself.
As I finish this column I must say it went in a direction I did not expect when I began to write. I assumed it would be one of accolades to my kids and all graduating seniors, not gushy stuff about the wonders of motherhood.
It’s funny where a column can take you. It has lead me to think that perhaps the best accolades we can give our graduating seniors is to tell them how much they have enriched our lives and how proud we are to call them our son or daughter.
And then we should thank them for taking off on their new journey, which opens the door for their parents to get started on a new journey of their own.
