I am delighted that this column about love is being published on Valentine’s Day.
Let me begin by wishing you and all of your loved ones a lovely day.
When I was a young woman, I thought Valentine’s Day was just for couples. And, when there wasn’t someone special in my life, I pretty much ignored Feb. 14. I hadn’t yet figured out that romantic love is often the most tentative of all loves, and that other kinds of loves are equally worthy of recognition.
Today, I celebrate Valentine’s Day to honor love of all kinds—my love for Vic, my family, friends, co-workers and even pets.
It’s the one day of the year that love is top of mind, and we take time to recognize those we love most with a phone call, a card and sometimes a gift.
I have loved many people in my life, but no love has been as endearing and long-lasting as the love I have for my children.
This past weekend, in fact, I celebrated my birthday by visiting my daughter, Rachel, in Tallahassee, where she is a graduate student at Florida State University.
When Andy and Rachel were born, I was surprised at the intensity of a mother’s unconditional love, and how much this love consumed most of my energy for the next 25 years.
When Andy became a father, he called me when Connor was just a few months old, marveling at how much he loved his boy, and how intense this love felt. He asked me if this was how I felt when he was born — and even seemed to doubt that I could have possibly loved him as much as he loved Connor.
That conversation made me smile, because I remember having the same talk with my dad after Andy was born. I, too, never understood the depth of a parent’s love, until I had children of my own.
My father died two years ago, and I greatly miss his love. But, I believe his unconditional love continues to flow through me to my children, and now my grandchildren.
One of my happiest memories of my father was at Connor’s baptism. Dad was so proud to witness his great grandson’s baptism, and I was even prouder to have him there to celebrate four generations of love.
When Connor’s brother Zachary was born this past June, it saddened me that I could not call my father with the good news. Zachary would have been Dad’s 10th great grandchild —a significant number, especially in our family, because my father also had 10 children.
I recently spent a week at Andy’s home outside of Louisville with his wife, Erin, and Connor and Zachary. I had forgotten how time consuming and exhausting it is to take care of a toddler and baby, and was astounded by my daughter-in-law’s energy, patience and ability to persevere with such a positive attitude.
I had it easy — mostly just playing cars and trucks with Connor, and then cuddling when it was time to settle down to read a book or play a matching game. It was wonderful to snuggle with 7-month-old Zachary, an exceptionally happy, inquisitive baby who already has a sense of humor.
I try to get to Kentucky every three or four months to visit Andy and Erin, and to enjoy my grandchildren’s amazing developmental changes. My last visit was in October, and a highlight was making chocolate chip cookies with Connor.
So, on this recent visit I wanted to continue our cookie-making tradition, and Connor and I spent an afternoon making peanut butter cookies.
Connor was so proud to learn how to crisscross the cookies before putting them in the oven. He couldn’t wait to plunk his fork into the bowl of flour before mashing a crisscross into the next cookie. Zach watched from his high chair as Connor spewed cookie dough and flour everywhere, and Patch, the family dog, happily cleaned up below.
I returned home from Kentucky on the second anniversary of my father’s death — a very sad day for me. But somehow the love for my grandchildren that was so fresh, helped me overcome my sadness.
My father would say that the world is designed so that new life and new love replace the pain of losing someone you love.
So, on this Valentine’s Day, I recognize the wisdom of my father’s words and feel truly grateful for having many people in my life to love, and for having many people who love me.
Published February 14, 2018
