I said don’t ask no stupid questions
and I won’t send you away.
If you want to talk fishin’
Well I guess that’ll be OK.
— “Don’t Ask Me No Questions” Lynyrd Skynyrd-
By Randall Grantham
Community Columnist
Here in Florida, we have more than our share of invasive creatures and plants. Brazilian Peppers are poisoning the native plants in the Everglades and beyond. Melaleuca, or Punk trees are soaking up the ground water and crowding out the pre-existing foliage. Walking catfish and even some piranha are posing dangers to people and ecosystems alike. And don’t forget the pythons. It seems the Brazilian Pepper and Punk tree environment provides a perfect habitat for these abandoned, and now reproducing, former pets.
We also have our share of unique native plants and animals that attract attention and draw visitors from around the world. From our now-disappearing groves of succulent oranges with sweet smelling blossoms, to our palm tree lined beaches, to the alligators, sharks and manatees that frequent both our natural vacation destinations and are kept in some of our numerous zoos and aquariums.
All of these attract an entirely different type of invasive species who come here to experience the “real Florida,” tourists and transplants.
While I could stand a few less new residents, we need to welcome the tourists with open arms and cash registers. The time and money they spend here result in sales tax revenues and hotel surcharges that are big reasons why the state has no income or estate tax. So we need to be nice to them to keep it that way.
All of which brings me to the following – an apology to the family who was visiting Tampa earlier this year in search of the manatees. I apologize but please, you should know, do not ask my wife for directions. And if you do, at least know where you want to go.
Here’s what happened: She was, as usual, running late for work and was heading out to her car from the CVS on Fowler, when an unlucky tourist family, probably in search of Lowry Park, had the misfortune to be in need of directions when they were in proximity to my wife. But, to be fair to her, he could’ve been clearer.
As she was hurrying to the car, a hapless visitor excitedly approached her and, even though she was trying her best to avoid any contact with strangers, cheerfully asked, “Are you from around here”
“Yeah but I’m really in a hurry”, she responded, almost making a clean getaway until he uttered the words that hooked her, tree-hugger that she is: “We’re here to see the Manatees!”
Ginny loves the manatees and the whole “Don’t Hit Them With a Boat Propellor” cause, and this got her attention. She immediately dropped what she was doing and destroyed the guy’s enthusiasm, telling him, “Well, you’re way in the wrong place for that!” Totally forgetting about the manatee exhibit at Lowry Park, our excellent local zoo, and not even considering the Big Bend power plant where wild manatees come for heat and fresh water, she began sending them to Homosassa or, further, to Crystal River.
“Look I don’t have time to draw it out for you, but look on whatever map you’ve got in there and find US 19. Go north to Homosassa, H-O-M-O-S-A-S-S-A, turn left.”
“Will there be signs?” they hopefully asked.
“Nope,” Ginny calmly responded, “But if you really want to see them, you have to go to them.”
She didn’t just casually tell them this; she was passionate in her manatee talk.
“This is the place where they rehabilitate wounded manatees and there’s a cool underwater bowl observatory in a natural spring,” she explained.
Hurrying off, she pointed the way to the Interstate and left the visitors consulting the bones.
Only after she got down the street and saw the roller coasters of Busch Gardens did she wonder if they had a manatee exhibit. And it was then that she remembered the great manatee facilities at Lowry Park, right here in Tampa. What exactly was he looking for when he said, “We’re here to see the manatees”?
I don’t want to disparage her ability to give directions. She’s good, but only if you already know where you want to go. Leave it to her and you’ll have quite an adventure!
Ya’ll come back now, you hear!
