Being a teenager has never been an easy time, but with today’s technology, poor decisions and impulsive actions can go viral in an instant.
And, with Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter it’s so much easier for kids to get themselves into trouble these days — sometimes with deadly consequences.
(B.C. Manion/Staff Photo)
Teenagers aren’t the only ones facing new challenges in this cyber age.
Parents also have trouble helping their children navigate through their teen years.
To help both groups, Steinbrenner High School’s Parent Teacher Student Association recently held a “The World of a Teen,” forum to discuss challenges confronting today’s teenagers.
A panel of experts covered issues ranging from dating, drugs, alcohol, stress, social media.
They also talked frankly about such topics as sexting and sexploitation, human trafficking, date rape, drug and alcohol abuse, depression, self-mutilation, eating disorders and various kinds of anxiety.
More than 160 people turned out for the event, prompting Laura LoPresti, one of the organizers to remark as she addressed the crowd: “This is obviously a topic of interest.”
The forum offered a safe space for both parents and their children to ask questions.
They jotted them on index cards and LoPresti read them to panelists.
Parents wanted advice about how to keep track of their child’s online behaviors.
It’s a serious issue, said Michelle Gonzalez, a special agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Parents must monitor what their children are doing online — on whatever kind of electronic device they are using, said Gonzalez, who investigates the exploitation of children on the Internet, including such issues as sextortion and sexting.
Deputy Tony Bennett, who is the school resource officer at Steinbrenner, told parents there are computer apps that can track their children’s computer behavior. He advised parents to contact him and he’d give them a list to check out.
Dating is another dangerous arena for teenagers, said Erica Ruiz, of The Spring of Tampa Bay, Inc.who works with dating abuse prevention and intervention programs.
“One in three or four teens will experience some form of teen dating violence,” she said, noting the violence can be either physical or verbal.
It’s an issue that’s often not on parents’ radar, Ruiz said.
“Take it seriously,” she urged parents.
Cindy Floyd, a licensed clinical psychologist with a practice in Wesley Chapel, said many of clients she sees have eating disorders, body image concerns, depression and anxiety.
Separation anxiety is another issue that teenagers sometimes have as they prepare to leave home for college.
“Are they socially and emotionally prepared for that transition?” she asked.
Parents often are reluctant to talk about drugs and alcohol with their children, said Sonya Bufe, of The Phoenix House, a substance abuse treatment center.
But it’s a necessary discussion.
In fact, parents, in general, need to talk to their children routinely to know what’s happening in their lives, said Ray Hewitt, who also works for The Phoenix House.
Kids often have an entirely different view of their future than their parents have for them, Hewitt said.
It’s important to know what they’re thinking and feeling and the only way to do that is keep the lines of communication open, he said.
While clients struggle with various anxieties, it’s important for parents to know that help is available, said Karan Lamb, a licensed psychologist with a practice in Carrollwood.
“Treatments are very effective,” she said, but if anxieties are left unchecked, they can develop into deeper problems.
The panelists offered a wide range of advice to parents. They talked about signs that can indicate that a child is being bullied. They gave advice on what to do if your child begins to hang out with a kid you think is trouble. They also offered practical suggestions to help parents prepare their children for independence.
Floyd, who has never been part of this type of panel, praised the Steinbrenner PTSA for arranging the program.
“I think it is so crucial for parents and families to be involved in the ins and outs of their teens’ lives,” Floyd said. “When parents are present, it’s just such a different experience for the teenager.”
She was impressed by the turnout.
“There’s some vulnerability that comes with these questions, especially for the parents to be sitting alongside their teen. I think it’s really neat that they were open and reflecting to their teenager — ‘We’re open and we’re capable of hearing about this stuff, so come talk to us.’ ”
She said the theme that emerged from the panelists’ remarks was this: “Get to know your teenager. Be in their life. Know what they’re looking at. Know what stresses them out. Know who their friends are.
“These are kids, so continue participate in their lives, deeply, so that you know if they’re depressed, if they’re anxious, if they’re engaging in something inappropriate,” Floyd said.
Terri Vanderhook and Stacie Gavin, worked with LoPresti to organize the event.
They said their goal was to inform parents about resources that may be helpful and to provide some practical advice as they deal with the daily challenges of raising a teenager.
Lisa Kiev-Chen, who attended the forum with two of her three children, said the panelists provided plenty of food for thought.
Two big things she took away from the event were this: “Talk less. Listen more,” she said.
She said listening to the experts also reinforced her belief in the importance of sharing family meals together, even when the kids would prefer to do something else.
She also was reminded of the importance of bringing the kids into discussions and listening to their point of view.
Published February 18, 2015